Christmas Trip

This holiday season had my left brain pitted against my right brain. My logical left brain is a bully and put my emotional right brain in its place.

It all started when I suggested to Brian that we get a Christmas tree in early December. Brian thought that was too early for a tree because one typically puts up the Christmas tree closer to Christmas. Because Brian said that we would need to take it down before our trip to Portland on December 21, my logical response was: why put up a tree at all? For one or two weeks? That’s crazy. So he acquiesced, and we got the tree a little early. I overheard him talking to his mom about getting the tree early and explaining why we got it early. Obviously the timing of getting the tree comes from traditions in his family. Kelly: Logical - 1. Brian: Emotional - 1

So then I am about to decorate the tree and I’m thinking… I’m going through all this work to then turn around and put all this crap away. And we do this year after year after year. As if we don’t have enough work to do around the house. So, I picked the best ornaments, a few balls and a strand of lights to put on the tree, a fraction of what is available to put on a tree. You know what? It looked just as good, if not better, to have quality and not quantity. Kelly: Logical – 2, Emotional – 0

Brian asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I want a ROM machine, that exercise machine that allows you to exercise in 4 minutes. Anything else? No, just a ROM machine. OK, let’s just skip the presents this year. Huge relief. I hate buying presents under pressure. Brian bought a Satellite radio for himself and I bought a $17 sound machine for myself. I did buy Brian a hot air popcorn popper. Kelly: Logical – 3, Emotional – 0

Brian was booking our trip to Portland. After the Thanksgiving trip fiasco, we paid the extra money for a non-stop flight. Prices would be much better if we returned on December 25, I said. Christmas Day is just a day. We can open presents on the 24th. (Kelly: Logical – 4, Emotional - 0) Out of the question, says Brian. (Brian: Logical – 0, Emotional – 2). It must be on Christmas Day. Need to stay for 8 days, says Brian. Have lots of friends to see and Mom and sister want to see the kids and they will do tons of baby-sitting while we go out every day and have a good time. (Brian: Logical – 0, Emotional – 3). 8 days is WAY too long, says Kelly. (Kelly: Logical – 5, Emotional – 0). Brian wins. You can’t argue emotion with logic.

The night before we leave, news from Portland: Brian’s mother is going to work 4 out of the 8 days and we may not have a car to use. Crap. Kelly: Logical – 5, Emotional 1 (outburst)

The airplane trip to Portland was quite uneventful, even without a seat for Ty. I guess anything is bearable for 2 ½ hours. Brian’s mom’s live-in boyfriend Ron, who really isn’t referred to as a boyfriend and the living together arrangement hasn’t really been discussed… he just happens to stay in her bedroom, picked us up in the biggest non-commercial diesel truck I’d ever seen, to be referred to as Big Red. This is our only potential vehicle for our time in Portland (well, Battle Ground, Washington to be exact) so Brian took mental notes on the way home from the airport because I told him he must drive this beast. We get back to his mom’s house which is exquisitely decorated in about a 1000 breakable knick-knacks which Jack thought was quite exciting. The next few hours were stressful as I ran around taking glass angels and ceramic candle holders away from him.

The rest of the time there was a big blur. Ty, who is our mellow child, was pretty much fussy the whole time and woke up every 5 to 30 minutes throughout each night. Was it gas? Teething? Ear infection? By Christmas Eve, I decided he should go to the doctor I didn’t want him to spend the night in the germy ER either so it was Monday before he saw a doctor. Sure enough, bilateral ear infection. His first. I was a little relieved to hear that he had an ear infection, just to explain why he was behaving the way he was. I would lose my mind if they said he was teething since that will go on for months and months.

I made my very first visit ever to Chuck E. Cheese. It was OK but it’s a harsh reality to realize that multiple international trips a year has been replaced by a big mouse and a bunch of arcade games. Jack thought the game was to put the tokens into the games, not to play the game. So he pitched a fit when I wouldn’t let him put all the tokens into one game. The good thing about Chuck E. Cheese is that no one gives you a second glance when your kid throws a temper tantrum.

It rained every single day. I saw the sun for about 2 minutes when we were driving around on the last day. With rain every day, that meant there wasn’t an opportunity to take Jack to a playground or the zoo or anything like that. We were pretty cooped up but managed to take a couple walks and to go to a couple malls. I watched the “40 Year Old Virgin” with my mother-in-law and Ron. That was weird. You don’t watch that movie with your mother or your father or your mother-in-law. I also saw “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” which wasn’t that great.

Of all the people that Brian was planning on seeing on this trip, only one couple came over and we ventured out to see one family. Of course, that family had grown kids so all the breakable Christmas decorations were available to be destroyed by the Drooling Snot-Nosed Toddler Monster.

On top of everything else, the bed I slept on was very soft with a divot in the middle which gave me a huge backache. You know those bad guest beds… they are bad and the owner doesn’t know that they are bad because why would they sleep in the guest room? And no one ever complains because it’s not polite. Well, I encourage everyone to sleep in their guest beds to see what they are subjecting their guests to.

On a positive note, Brian’s sister, Heather, was very good with Jack and Ty and spent quite a bit of time with them while she was there. Jack allowed her to clean his crusted snotty nose, which for me, requires elaborate wrestling moves to accomplish.

The trip was uneventful. Brian admitted that he made some bad decisions around the whole trip without my having to point it out. So I didn’t have to bring it up and say “I told you so.” We had talked about going back to Alaska in 2006 and I had been telling Brian that I only wanted to stay for a few days and not a week. Now he doesn’t want to go at all and I’m actually completely fine with that. In Alaska in the summertime, the sun never goes down which means the kids never sleep. And that is bad. We’re also not traveling for Christmas next year. I am very happy to be here in sunny Arizona where people are still wearing tank tops and flip flops. Logic wins this round.