Working Mom Guilt

Ty has been sleeping in our room since the day he came home. He sleeps in a swing next to our bed but the swing is not turned on. As soon as he starts to rustle around, I get up and put him in bed with me and he eats. Most of the time I wake up and he is lying there and put him back into the swing. Sometimes I am too tired. He always wakes up to eat one more time so when I finally get up in the morning, he is lying in the bed with me.

Sunday night was the same story but now that I cannot take naps, I am getting pretty tired during the day. So Monday evening, I told Brian that he should spend the night with Ty in another room. I don’t really think that Ty needs to eat that many times during the night but it is the path of least resistance. I think if he sleeps in another room with Brian, he could get through the night without eating and be soothed with a pacifier at various points in time. However, the more I thought of this scenario, the more anxious I got. What I realized was that part of me is enjoying the closeness and bonding aspect of feeding Ty and having him sleep in the bed with me. I would actually miss that part of the feedings. Now I understand more why women perpetuate this cycle--Part of it is that we are so tired and it’s just easier to feed them, but the other part is that we enjoy that time with the baby. After coming to this realization, I noticed an article in the paper last night: http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/news/articles/1010sids10.html

Washington Post
Oct. 10, 2005 12:00 AM

WASHINGTON - To minimize the risk of crib death, the nation's largest organization of pediatricians is recommending that babies be put to sleep with pacifiers and in their own beds, despite intense opposition from advocates for breast-feeding and the "family bed."

The American Academy of Pediatrics, hoping to settle some of the most hotly debated emotional issues related to the care of newborns, is for the first time endorsing routine pacifier use and explicitly advocating a ban on babies sleeping with their parents.

In recommendations being unveiled today, the academy's first new guidance in five years also toughens its long-standing policy that babies always sleep on their backs, saying for the first time that even sleeping on the side is too dangerous. Babies should, however, sleep in the same room as their parents, the academy concludes.

The recommendations come as more American women are juggling the competing demands of work and motherhood, leading increasing numbers of new mothers to sleep with their babies in what some advocates call the "family bed" as they search for additional time to bond with their newborns.

First of all, isn’t it amazing that the epiphany I had showed up in the paper just moments after I had the epiphany? Maybe others knew why they were doing this but it didn’t really occur to me until I told Brian that he should forget the plan… I would continue to deal with Ty during the night. Why would I say that if I am so tired? Working mom GUILT.